Motherhood

In This Moment of Motherhood

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I am just going to slow down

I will relax my face, my heavy shoulders, my loving arms,

I will let the weight of everything flow downward as I relax my legs all the way down to my very toes.

I will breathe in this moment of motherhood.


I might feel stress, anger, joy, or weariness,

But it doesn’t matter.

I accept that whatever I am feeling will pass.

However before any of this has a chance to flutter away as it inevitably will,

I want to be present in this moment of motherhood.


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I will take this chance to look at my child,

To notice the shape of her face, the color of her eyes, the curl in her lashes.

I will notice the sounds she makes: the laughs, the chatter;

I will notice her movements: her hair falling to the side, the curve in the corner of her mouth, the rise in her chest as she breathes.

I will notice it all.

I know in a flash this will pass but until then I am all about this moment right here.


Hey Momma,

Use this mantra to help you break free from the daily hustle so that you can breathe, find your center (even just for a moment), and take a snapshot of this very precious moment.

We easily let these little moments slip between our fingers as we struggle to meet the many needs of the day. Use this reminder anytime to give yourself a chance to slow down and take it all in.

xo


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I am Michelle. I am a busy mom of 3, a certified holistic health coach and owner of Real Moms, Real Health.  I studied at the Institute of Integrative Nutrition and I am  Board Certified by the American Association of Drugless Practitioners. In addition to giving workshops and lectures, I work with busy moms to find a healthy weight, have more energy and inspire health in their household. I have simple strategies that any mom can use to make healthy living EASY. Learn more about my programs by checking out my website.  And don't forget to follow me on FACEBOOKTWITTER and INSTAGRAM.

Thanks for being a part of this community!

Personal Healing Starts with Kindness

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Sometimes it is easy for me to be open and present.

Sometimes it is not.

Sometimes, like recently, I even have to pull back.

All the way back.

Even further back than my wonderful community of moms could reach. 

And that is a big reason why I have been so quiet as of late.

For the sake of well being and growth, I’ve been intentionally quiet and it has been for the best. I was (and still am) immersed in some personal healing and being withdrawn has been part of that process. It has allowed me to realize some things that are true for me in the healing process, some things I am sharing in the hopes that they might be true for you as well. Maybe this is a little bit of service to you.

And “maybe” is worth it.

Life is full of ups and downs, no big surprise there. We all come to many points in our lives that require a great deal of healing. That healing begins with kindness. This is the most important truth when it comes to the topic of healing.

 

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kindness means acceptance.

kindness means forgiving.  

kindness means embracing the struggle for what it is and working through it without judgement.  




This is especially true when that struggle is your very own.

 

Those things may not feel like they can fit into a busy mom’s life. But when healing and growth have come due, then fitting in kindness and healing is not an option.

 

Personally, I had no choice but to stop everything in order to find the ways in which I could (and had to) show myself loving kindness as the first phase of healing. However, ideally we should be showing ourselves kindness daily so that we don’t come to a point of desperation.

If this sounds like the stage of your life that you are facing, here are a few simple ways to make personal healing a bit gentler through kindness.


the personal healing through kindness protocol:

  1. Rest. Before you reach what feels like the end of your patience, energy, and/or motivation, find ways to rest. Cancel everything for a day or two or more. Maybe the kids could use a good movie marathon or have some sleep overs they have been meaning to schedule. Maybe book yourself an overnight at a local, fancy-as-possible hotel. Whatever this means for you, clear space in order to rest.

    Without enough rest none of the rest of this will matter.

  2. Leave your home for self care. Follow this in whatever your comfort-zone and budget dictates, but as a mom this was vital. It doesn’t matter if you are leaving for a 5-day meditation retreat or you are pouring yourself a cup of tea in your favorite travel mug and driving to the beach to get lost in a book…just leave your home and spend time with yourself.

  3. Write a “Wish List of Self Care” and start scheduling it. If it helps you to imagine what you would tell your best girlfriend to do for improved self care, then write “her” list and keep it for yourself. Reach beyond the 5-minute dry brushing and weekly face mask. Although those are wonderful things to include in your busy life, the kindness required for healing goes beyond those practices.

    Think broader.

    My personal wish list includes solo walks in nature; massage; 1/2 day, 1-day, and 3-day retreats; time to read; time to journal; therapy; classes on topics near and dear to my heart; yoga; and more.

    Yes, more.

    Go for it.

  4. Ask for help implementing your wish list. Find babysitters, sign the kids up for classes, reach out for help and support. There are people who love you and will help you set your plan in motion.

  5. Build up your healing community. I am blessed to have a wide and loving community of moms. It is a community I cherish and adore.

    However that mom community doesn’t necessarily meet all of the needs I may have in order to heal and recover in ways that are specific and unique to me. I didn’t realize until I was in crisis that I needed to build up a community that was healing in ways that I was.

    Whether you are seeking to heal from stress, mental illness, addiction, abuse, or any other path that finds you focused on personal healing, find and build that community. The degree you will lean on them will be different for everyone but it can still offer invaluable love, support and strategies for healing.

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These steps are not meant to replace any professional support you might need or want but they are meant to support you in some loving, even if minor, way.

Personal healing is always possible.

It starts with kindness.


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The Gratitude Momma Mindset

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This summer was a lot different for us than any other summer. 

And at first I thought it was THE WORST. 

In summers past I had nothing but time with my kids. We focused on lazy mornings, beach days, and outdoor adventures.

But not this summer. This summer was different. The kids and I all had a hard time wrapping our heads around it. I should be totally honest and say there were moments that I was kind of bitter about the whole thing which is kind of silly considering this was my choice.

Let me backup just a bit: for over 2 years I have had a part time gig outside of holistic health coaching that I love just as much. I have taught adult basic education for a local non-profit. 

I love that gig. 

And when they offered me a full time position, I couldn't say no. 

But a full time position outside of my home was a huge change for the family and for me. When I accepted the new position I did so knowing there were be some bumps along the way.

I began my new full time position July 1st, right as summer began. 

So there we were, kicking off summer by getting up earlier than they had during the school year, the kids seeing me less, and all of us adjusting to a brand new reality of a full-time working mom. (And yes, of course I am still coaching! Couldn't make me stop if you tried, haha!) 

There were tears some mornings, sometimes at night. (From the kiddos and from me.) 

I was sad about all of the things I was missing. I wondered more than once if I was doing the right thing. 

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My kids were super lucky to be able to spend the summer days with their generous and fun aunt who planned fun-packed days at the snap of a finger. I couldn't have asked for a better arrangement. But I still spent some time feeling bad and even grieving the end of how things used to be for us.

As moms I think we are pre-programmed to feel guilty ABOUT ALMOST EVERYTHING. And this new situation was no different for me. I had to pep-talk myself out of guilt and regret many times because ultimately I wanted this new gig. It came with adjustments to my home life but that is what life is about, right? Nothing stays the same, everything changes and being able to flow with those changes is key. 

I could see all the adjustments as "sacrifices" but I refuse to go there. 

Instead I decided (somewhere in the middle of the summer and bad feelings) to find all of the silver linings, all of the blessings, and all of the happy moments. 

Life is what we focus on.

If I CHOOSE to focus on the hard parts of change the hardships will overwhelm me. 

If I CHOOSE to focus on every precious moment this summer, those moments will carry me through. 

Although those moments might be fewer this summer than they were in the past, guess what? They are just as precious to me and my children as well. When recently asked about a favorite part of the summer, my oldest could have chosen any of the adventures she has had this summer while I was as work: beach days, road trips, museums, zoos, aquariums, boardwalk arcades.... 

...but she named one of the days I was able to steal away with them, when we headed to a local amusement park, got caught in the rain and had ice cream for lunch. THAT one day stands out for her. It stands out for me too.

I learned a lot this summer about the power and importance of a gratitude mindset. Whatever it is that makes us think that guilt needs to be a part of everything should just back off.

I am shaking the guilt and embracing the gratitude.

I am endlessly grateful for all of the days I have had with my children this summer. I am grateful for all of the ups and downs and all the lessons learned.  This summer might have had limited adventures for the first time ever, but if I can see it for what it is really worth, it makes all the difference. 

The kids are alright. I love these little monsters. 

The kids are alright. I love these little monsters. 


Yup, motherhood is tricky. You don't have to navigate it alone. Join us in the Real Moms Collaborative, a free online community for moms. We support each other in healthy living, parenting, and lots of other things along the way.

There is always room for one more. 


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